Hijab Me!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Honestly, I’ve been thinking of donning the hijab for a very long time now but I keep brushing it aside for God knows why. I even made a list of the pros and cons of being a full fledged hijabi, with the list of cons being 3x longer than the pros, with things like - None of my best friends wear one, or I can’t stand the scorching sun even without covering myself head to toe & What do I wear when I jog? Or swim?

Trust me the list is interminable.

I am not sure what exactly made me change my mind, but I remember on a particular day I randomly asked my boyfriend if he is okay if I start covering myself from head to toe. Truth be told I was being a total pessimistic bout it but to my surprise he was rather supportive of the idea.

Why not?” He replied with a broad smile. “But just to remind you we can’t hold hands anymore, you know right?” I nodded in assent.

 My mother was the happiest person upon hearing the news. She was a lot more excited for me than I am for myself I guess. One day I walked into her room and saw her reading my blog and she’s suddenly she’s like.. “Are you sure bout this? All these pictures have to go you know..”

..which is (one of the) hardest part.


 Being a hijabi doesn’t mean I simple dress up modestly and cover my head with a scarf and that’s it. Being one means taking care of everything I do, act and say. You may be a Muslim, dress up modestly but without the hijab, people are not going to judge you so much, you know? No one’s going to condemn you when you smoke or post pictures of you kissing your boyfriend online.

But when a hijabi does so *boom* she’s the freaking bad ass who tarnish the image of a Muslim.


Talking bout changing for the better, so far I…

-Have quit having my all time fav XXL chix from Taiwan cafĂ©. And Takoyaki. & Singapore’s Subway restaurants L
-Have deleted most pictures of me with my hair exposed from my Instagram and Facebook. Even have to revert all my posts to draft L L L 
 -Have reluctantly donated more than half the stuff in my wardrobe to my sister i.e. skirts,shorts, fishnet/chiffon tops, sundresses, bikinis.. L L L L L
 -No longer hold my boyfriend’s hand when I am with him. L xinfinity.

This shows how serious I am to change okay?!


 Shopping for an entire new wardrobe is my favorite part. Out with the old, in with the new! I went a bit kiasu and bought a whole lot of shawls, now neatly arranged in the order of the rainbow. You should see my new collection of blazers too. I have it in every single colour, different shades each. Same goes for long sleeved top, believe it or not previously I have none lol


 So the first time I stepped out of the house wearing the hijab, on my own free will may I add, I had my checkup at Raffles. Weather was awfully hot, and most of the time I just feel choked lol. Things get a lot more awkward during my ECG test where I have to remove my top & shawl and change into the outfit provided.

 I spend a very long time in the changing room debating with myself whether or not I should remove my inner shawl as well. Thing is, the given outfit is short sleeved and not forgetting almost see through. If it is not weird enough wearing it with my inner shawl, well I actually have to walk a distance from the changing room back to the ECG room.

Why should I be ashamed?” I thought to myself. “I’m doing something right & I shouldn’t be bothered by what others see me as.” Despite the noble thoughts I have to say it was downright embarrassing.

Since then there was no other bitter experience. No more I hope! Still don’t understand why some say they feel intimidated most of the time, I definitely don’t. It has been a month now and I must say I really love the new me I see on the mirror every day.

 Even if it means spending extra time choosing the right shawl to fit my outfit, or giving up the things I love and have been eating or doing for so long. Perhaps someday I will find the right outfit for a swim and jog, or have the next best thing to the XXL chix. I can still wear my tak cukup kain clothes, when I’m at home. & when I am craving for my Marinara Meatball wrap I can drop by JB anytime. & who cares if none of my girls actually cover up?

 I’m just doing what I should have done many years ago, and I don’t wanna look back. Ever.